A Christmas Reflection
A few months ago, I caught myself using the phrase “bite the bullet.”
I’ve said it my whole life. But that day, for whatever reason, I paused and thought:
Where on earth did that come from?
Later, I looked it up—and instantly wished I hadn’t.
(Bullet. Teeth. No anesthetic. Enough said.)
But learning the origin wasn’t the important part. What mattered was what it revealed: There are so many things we say, repeat, and reenact simply because they’re familiar. We rarely stop to wonder what’s actually behind them.
We inherit habits, traditions, and rituals—linguistic ones, cultural ones, family ones—and we perform them without ever examining the meaning they were meant to carry.
That small moment led me to a bigger question that has stayed with me for months:
How much of my life runs on patterns I’ve never truly explored?
And what meaning might I recover if I slowed down long enough to look behind them?
Which, naturally, brought me to the word of the season:
Christmas!
What is it exactly?
A religious holiday?
A commercial marathon?
A family gathering?
A cultural relic?
A story about a baby in a manger?
A story about a man in a red suit?
A reason to take time off work?
A chance to feel both joy and exhaustion simultaneously?
Or—is it something else entirely?
Is there a thing behind the thing? A deeper energy, a deeper meaning, a deeper invitation we’ve lost sight of in the noise?
First, The Elephant In The Room
Before we go any further, I want to pause and acknowledge the reactions that arise when we examine the word Christ within Christmas.
For some, the word brings warmth and meaning.
For others, tension or skepticism.
For many, it carries both.
So before we look more closely at Christ-mas, here’s a simple invitation for the different perspectives this word naturally stirs up:
1. If you identify as a Christian…
Stay open to the possibility that this word may carry even more depth than you’ve explored—not in opposition to your tradition, but within it and beyond it.
2. If you come from another religious or wisdom tradition…
Christ may not be your word—and it doesn’t need to be. For now, simply consider it a placeholder for something more universal than any particular religious tradition.
3. If you identify as nonreligious, agnostic, or atheist…
You may not resonate with this language—and that’s completely valid. The invitation is simply to pause the assumption that this word belongs only to religion and consider that it might also point to something universal: love that heals, generosity that creates life, and a deeper coherence woven through the world.
What We Find Behind The Word Itself
When we peel back the layers of culture, tradition, and commercialization, the word Christ-mas reveals two older ideas woven into it: Christ and Mass.
Christ
Long before this word carried any institutional or religious meaning, Christos simply meant “anointed”—someone marked with oil.
In many ancient cultures, oil symbolized healing, care, and renewal. To “anoint” someone was to recognize the flow of life or vitality moving through them.
At its root, Christos meant: one who embodies or channels a life-giving power.
Not a title of dominance.
Not necessarily a religious term.
But a symbol of restoration and connection—an energy humans can access whenever they choose to bring healing, love, or renewal into the world.
In that sense, “Christ” points to something many people, across cultures and time, have recognized:
a love that heals and reconnects
a creative force that generates life
a sustaining energy that holds things together
A source of energy rooted in love—moving, healing, creating, sustaining.
Mass
Long before it became a formal church ceremony, the Latin missa referred to a simple idea: a gathering where people were reminded of what matters and then sent back into the world carrying that renewed clarity.
The earliest uses of missa weren’t about ritual as much as reorientation—a communal pause, a moment to reground, a sending forth with intention.
And while the word evolved within religious settings, the pattern it names is decidedly human and universal:
We come together.
We remember who we are.
We reconnect to what matters.
And then we return to our lives carrying that renewed sense of purpose.
Every culture has its own version of this—circles, meals, ceremonies, celebrations, vigils, gatherings around fire or table. The outer forms differ, but the inner rhythm is the same:
gather → remember → reconnect → re-enter life with intention.
It is the ancient, deeply human rhythm of renewal.
Putting Christ-mas Back Together
When we place Christ and Mass side by side again, something deeper emerges. One points to the life-giving energy rooted in love—the force that heals, creates, and sustains. The other points to the human rhythm that renews us and sends us back into the world with purpose.
Put together, Christmas becomes a life-giving, universal pattern:
→ gathering together in community,
→ remembering the source of love that moves through us,
→ reconnecting to what matters most, and then
→ re-entering life with a renewed sense of love and how to live it well.
Seen this way—not as a belief to hold but as a rhythm our humanity already knows—Christmas becomes less about what we believe and more about how we live.
A reminder of the love that flows through us, and an invitation to let that love shape the way we move through the world.
Why This Matters
The holiday season often gets stretched between two poles:
the commercial noise of gifts, pressure, and performance
and the religious language that resonates for some and alienates others
But beneath the lights, traditions, and expectations is a deeply human invitation: to return to what gives life its meaning, its warmth, and its coherence.
We aren’t just marking a date on the calendar. We’re acknowledging a truth about being human:
Our lives run on love—received and given.
Connection is life-support.
Generosity keeps us breathing.
Presence is medicine for the mind and the heart.
Seen this way, Christmas becomes less a season to “get through” and more a moment that re-centers us. A yearly reminder of the life-giving energy—rooted in love—that we are made to embody… and that gathering helps us remember, so we can return to our everyday lives and live love well.
In Closing
This Christmas, may we lean into the ancient rhythm behind the word: gathering together, remembering the love that sustains us, reconnecting with what matters most, and re-entering our lives with a renewed intention to live love well.
Because Christmas, at its heart, isn’t just a date or a tradition. It’s a rhythm of renewal—one we return to again and again as we learn how to let love flow in and through us, for the benefit of all of us.
Until next week,
Jonathan Penner | Co-Founder & Executive Director of LifeApp
What are your thoughts, comments, or experiences around Christmas and “The Thing Behind The Thing.”
Resources To Dig Deeper
Podcast
Reclaim the Holidays for YOU
If Christmas invites us to gather with intention, this conversation with Priya Parker shows us how to make that gathering genuinely life-giving. Parker and Dr. Becky explore why so many of our holiday rituals feel draining rather than renewing—and how small, courageous shifts can transform the way we come together. From boundary-setting that strengthens connection, to designing gatherings that meet real human needs, to recognizing the deeper desire beneath the chaos of family systems, this episode is full of practical wisdom for reclaiming the holidays as spaces of meaning, belonging, and love. If you're longing to gather in ways that restore you—and help you carry love back into your everyday life—this is a beautiful place to start.
-Good Inside, Dr. Becky with Priya Parker (53:44)
Book
The Art of Gathering
If Christmas invites us to come together with intention, The Art of Gathering shows us how to do it well. Priya Parker argues that most of our gatherings—holiday dinners, work meetings, family rituals—run on autopilot, following scripts we never chose. Her book is an invitation to do the opposite: to gather in ways that feel meaningful, human, and alive. Through vivid stories and practical wisdom, Parker reveals what creates genuine belonging and what quietly gets in the way. If you’re longing for deeper conversations, real connection, and moments that heal and inspire, this book is a beautiful companion—teaching us how to honor what matters most and create spaces where love naturally flows.
-Priya Parker
TED Talk
3 Steps to Turn Everyday Get-Togethers Into Transformative Gatherings
In this short, compelling talk, Priya Parker reveals how everyday gatherings—holiday meals, family rituals, dinner with friends—can become moments that actually nourish us. Through vivid stories and clear principles, she shows how meaningful connection isn’t an accident; it’s something we create when we design gatherings around purpose, honest conversation, and intentional boundaries. Her insights echo the rhythm at the heart of Christmas: coming together, remembering what matters, reconnecting with ourselves and each other, and returning to the world with renewed love. If you want a simple, practical framework for turning ordinary moments into spaces of connection and transformation, this 10-minute talk is a gem.
-Priya Parker (10:18)
Music
Someday At Christmas
“Someday at Christmas” is a soulful, hope-soaked vision of what the world could look like if we truly lived the deeper rhythm of Christmas—coming together, remembering the power of love, reconnecting to what matters most, and carrying that love into a world that desperately needs it. Stevie Wonder’s lyrics name both the ache of the present and the longing for a future shaped by compassion, justice, and peace. It’s not sentimental optimism; it’s a courageous, clear-eyed belief that love can transform us and the systems we live in. This song mirrors the heart of the reflection: that Christmas isn’t about nostalgia or ritual, but about becoming people who help build the world we dream of—one act of love, one moment of courage, one hopeful December at a time.
-Stevie Wonder and Andra Day (3:34)