Have you ever felt like life is running you, rather than the other way around? Maybe you're always on edge, snapping at your loved ones, or utterly drained and disconnected from the world. You're not alone.
This isn't just life being hard—this is your nervous system stuck in overdrive. It might be due to a habitual pattern of behavior that you developed in childhood that is no longer working for you or it might stem from a trauma you experienced.
Trauma isn't just what happened to you—it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened, leaving a lasting imprint on your body, mind, and emotions.
The good news? You can learn to press reset. Science shows us that healing doesn't come from "just powering through" but from teaching your nervous system how to relax, reset, and find balance. Let's explore how.
Why Healing Trauma Starts with the Nervous System
Trauma isn't just a memory or a story; it lives in your body. Jeffrey Rutstein, a trauma expert, explains that trauma creates chronic dysregulation in the nervous system. What does that mean?
Think of your nervous system as a thermostat. When it's working, it keeps the temperature just right. When trauma takes over, the thermostat gets stuck—either cranked up to "fight or flight" (anger, anxiety, reactivity) or turned down to "shut down" (numbness, despair, or disconnection).
And here's the kicker: Many of us don't even realize we've been living like this for years. That underlying vigilance or chronic tension you've felt? It might not be “you” but a state your nervous system has been stuck in for far too long.
The great news? Your nervous system is flexible, and you can gently guide it back to balance with the right tools. This process isn't just about healing trauma but reclaiming your presence, your joy, and your connection to life.
5 Steps to Begin Rebalancing Your Nervous System
Here are some practical ways to start shifting your nervous system today:
Name Your State: Are you in fight-or-flight (anxious, irritable) or shut-down (disconnected, withdrawn) state? Awareness is the first step to change. Name the state you're in.
Breathe to Reset: Use the "long out-breath" technique—inhale through your nose for 4 counts, then exhale through your mouth for 8. This directly calms your nervous system by slowing your heart rate.
Progressive Relaxation: Clench and release muscle groups in your body, starting from your toes and working up to your jaw. This helps interrupt the cycle of physical tension.
Anchor in the Present: Find one thing you can see, hear, and touch right now. Grounding yourself in the present moment helps your brain realize you're safe.
Connect with Someone Safe: Co-regulation—or calming through connection with another—is a powerful tool. Call a friend or loved one who's warm and nonjudgmental, and simply share how you're feeling.
Why This Works: The Science
Polyvagal Theory: Your nervous system has a "sweet spot" called the ventral vagal state, where you feel calm, safe, and connected. These exercises help guide you there.
Neuroplasticity: The brain can rewire itself. The more you practice shifting into a regulated state, the easier it becomes over time.
Mind-Body Integration: Techniques like breathing and grounding directly influence your autonomic nervous system, proving you can change your state without just "thinking your way out."
Closing Thought
Your nervous system doesn't define who you are. It simply tells you how you are. And the amazing part? You have the power to change it. Healing isn't just possible; it's within reach. Start small, be curious, and trust that every little step makes a difference.
Until next week,
Jonathan Penner | Founder & Exec Dir. of LifeApp
Resources To Dig Deeper
Book
The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are
This revised and expanded third edition of Daniel J. Siegel's influential work integrates cutting-edge research to explore how the mind develops, how relationships shape neural processes, and how connections with others and oneself foster growth and resilience, making it a valuable resource for clinicians, educators, and students.
-Daniel J Siegel, MD
Online Programme
The Healing Trauma Programme
A Nine-Month Training to Regulate Your Nervous System, Embody Safety, and Become a Healing Presence.
-Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein
Podcast
Insights At The Edge: Jeffrey Rutstein, PsyD: You Can Shift the State of Your Nervous System
This podcast explores the groundbreaking insights of neuroscience and trauma research, focusing on how understanding and working with your nervous system can help heal trauma, shift from defensive to regulated states, and cultivate self-compassion, safety, and connection. Featuring Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein, it offers practical tools, like breathwork and mindfulness, to transform dysregulation into wholeness and resilience.
-Tami Simon
Music
Keep Breathing
A song about being in the present moment and recognizing what you have control over and what you don't have control over. Learning how to keep breathing in order to calm your nervous system and avoid either “fight or flight” or being “shut down”.
-Ingrid Michaelson (3:25)