The other morning, my wife, Teresa, and I were out for one of our early bike rides—the kind where the air is cool and forgiving, and the sun rises like it's trying not to wake anyone. We were winding through a quiet country neighborhood when we came upon a house being torn down.
It wasn't falling apart. It wasn't condemned. It was just… being taken apart.
We stopped. An excavator—big, yellow, unapologetic—was hunched over the house like it had a score to settle. Its claw reached in and shredded what used to be someone's living room. You could almost hear the echoes—Sunday dinners, baby's first steps, arguments that found forgiveness—still lingering in the drywall as it collapsed.
And the house? It wasn't old. It wasn't broken. If anything, it looked like it still had a few good decades left.
But I knew what was happening.
Because I used to be a real estate appraiser. I've seen this before. This wasn't recklessness. It was intentional.
Someone had run the numbers, studied the land, and determined that the house—still standing, still livable—was no longer the highest and best use of the space it occupied.
I've used that phrase for years. In real estate, it refers to the most suitable, sustainable, and meaningful use of a property—not based on nostalgia or habit, but on potential. It asks not, What is this place currently doing? But what could it become if we let it?
That morning, standing there with drywall dust floating through the sunlight, that phrase didn't just land in my head.
It landed on my heart.
And as we pedaled away, I couldn't shake the question:
What is the highest and best use… of a life?
When Life “As-Is” Isn’t Life at Its Best
We humans are adaptable creatures. We build routines. We settle into rhythms. We get used to living inside frameworks that once fit—but maybe don't anymore.
A job we took for security that slowly drained our spark. A version of ourselves we crafted for survival—but forgot to update. A set of values we inherited without question.
And because it all still technically “works,” we keep going. But deep down, we know something's misaligned.
Functional isn't the same as faithful. And staying safe isn't the same as living true.
A Story That Stuck With Me
Dr. Gabor Maté was a respected physician in Vancouver, treating patients with addiction, chronic illness, and mental health struggles. He was doing good, important work.
But he began to see a deeper thread running through it all: unhealed trauma.
So he stepped back from traditional medicine and became a voice for trauma-informed healing—linking early emotional wounds to lifelong physical and psychological suffering. He began speaking, writing, and teaching—not just about treatment, but about transformation.
He didn't abandon his profession. He expanded it.
He moved from treating symptoms… to helping people reconnect with their true selves.
From success… to significance. From good work… to his highest and best use.
All of it rooted in compassion. In love that sees beneath the pain—and stays.
What “Best Use” Really Means
Now, I want to be careful here.
Because in the world we live in, words like "maximize," "optimize," and “upgrade your life” can get co-opted by hustle culture and used to guilt us into doing more.
But that's not what this is about.
This isn't about polishing your brand or becoming a productivity robot with a gratitude journal.
It's about lining up your life with what matters—with your core, your calling, your quiet, unshakable why.
It's about asking: What was I built for? And am I actually living that way?
In the truest sense, highest and best use isn't about production. It's about love.
Love, not as a feeling, but as a force. Love, defined simply as caring for the well-being and security of others as much as we care about our own.
That's not a nice idea. That's the foundation of a meaningful life. The most enduring, human, and sacred kind of value.
Three Small Renovations To Try This Week
Clarify Your Zoning Code
Write down three things you do that make other people's lives better—and feel energized when you do them. These are clues to your design.
Practice One Hour of Alignment
Set aside one hour this week for something that feels aligned with your purpose. Not useful. Not impressive. Just… true.
Dismantle One Outdated Wall
Name one habit, commitment, or internal script that may have served you once—but no longer fits. You don't have to demo it today. But you can start loosening the hinges.
What Were You Meant For?
We don't always need a bulldozer. Sometimes we just need the courage to ask an honest question: Is this still who I'm meant to be?
You're not a teardown. But maybe something in you is ready to be rebuilt.
Not for status. Not for speed.
But for alignment.
For love.
Until next week,
Jonathan Penner | Founder & Exec Dir. of LifeApp
The 3 Day Experience
If something in you is whispering there's more to me than this, the LifeApp 3-Day Experience is your invitation to listen.
This isn't a retreat for the already-perfect. It's for the curious, the weary, and the brave-hearted—ready to clear out the noise and return to what really matters. Whether you're thriving in many areas but longing for deeper alignment with your purpose, or you feel stuck in a life that just “works” but no longer feels true, this space is for you.
You won't be handed a formula. You'll be given room—sacred, structured, and wildly loving—to rediscover the highest and best use of your one and only life. Not for performance. But for presence.
Resources To Dig Deeper
Movie
How to Complain Effectively (and Get What You Want)
Soul is a moving reflection on what it means to live a life of purpose. Joe Gardner, a band teacher with dreams of jazz greatness, finds himself in "The Great Before"—a place where souls prepare for life—and begins to question everything he thought defined him. As he mentors a reluctant soul named 22, Joe discovers that our highest and best use isn’t just about passion or profession—it’s about presence. Soul reminds us that meaning isn’t found in big achievements, but in small, sacred moments of connection, wonder, and love.
-Pixar
Book
Start With Why
In Start With Why, Simon Sinek unpacks a simple but transformational idea: knowing why you do what you do is the key to living with purpose and impact. For anyone wondering if they’re living their highest and best use, this book offers both inspiration and a framework. Whether you're thriving but sensing something's missing, or feeling stuck in a life that no longer fits, Start With Why helps you reconnect with your core purpose—and shows how that clarity can reshape not just what you do, but how and why you show up in the world.
-Simon Sinek
Podcast
You Listening To You
Rob Bell explores the life-shaping practice of tuning in to your truest inner voice—the quiet knowing beneath the noise that points you toward the work, relationships, and rhythms that are most aligned with who you really are. Drawing from personal stories, poetic reflections, and cross-cultural wisdom, Bell invites us to notice the patterns, longings, and questions that keep surfacing—not as distractions, but as signals guiding us toward our highest and best use in this one and only life.
-Rob Bell, The Robcast
Music
I am Light
This soul-stirring anthem is a gentle stripping away of false identity. India.Arie names what we are not—our trauma, mistakes, appearance, even family pain—before returning us to what we are: light. When she sings “I am the God on the inside,” it’s not about being divine in ego, but recognizing the sacred reflection of the Creator within. This song is a mirror to your highest and best self—not something to become, but something to remember.
-India.Arie
Learn More About
“It's very rare to find a program such as the 3 Day that has such a profound effect on everything you do. The world would be a better place if all were able to participate and apply the self-discovery principles."